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Need a Quick Ship Gift? Visit our Quick Ship Gift Ideas section now. Some of our Favorite Quotes Just for Fun The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. - T. S. Eliot What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? - W.C. Fields A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly, Actress Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission. - Fred Allen (1894-1956) About the only business that makes money without advertising is the Mint. Spel chekers, hoo neeeds em? - Alan James Bean Boss: "Good morning. How are you?" Receptionist: "I'm just fine." Boss: "Well, then, could you let your face know?" There are three kinds of employees: those who make things happen; those who watch things happen; and those who who have no idea what's happening. YOU DIDN'T SURVIVE THE MILLENIUM IF ...Your reason for not staying touch with family is that they don't have e-mail addresses ...You can't order it by midnight and have it delivered by noon the next day, it's just too slow ...Your stockbroker's name ends in ".com" ...Keeping up with sports means having bookmarked your favorite team's websites ...You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their efficiency ...You get all excited when it's Saturday and you can wear sweats to work ...You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what kind of work you do ...You normally eat out of fending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week ...You apologize to your friends who didn't get holiday cards from you because they didn't have e-mail ...You think a "half-day" means leaving at five o'clock From a car rental brochure in Tokyo: "When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor." Quiquid latine dictum sit altum vidtur. (English translation: Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.) When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles, and the bottle's in a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles...they call this a muddle puddle tweedle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle. This man is a genius. - The TV sitcom character Harry Solomon (John Lithgow) in 3rd Rock from the Sun. Just because you have good manners doesn't mean I suddenly turn into Dale Evans. - The character Alice Hyatt (Ellen Burstyn) in Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. You may dress like a Christian but the similarity ends there. - Patsy Stone (Joanna Lumley) in the British sitcom Absolutely Fabulous Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't put his pants on. - Arthur K. Watson I dropped a lot of money in the market today. My shopping bag broke. Honesty is the best policy but there are too few policyholders. Show me an optimist and I'll show you a happy-condriac. 
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